Learning Polish: "No, you can't have my cat"

After three years of living in Poland I'm quite satisfied with the fact that my Polish is finally on a more or less acceptable level, which means that I can have some conversations with the locals without using English, German or out of frustration my own language: Dutch (which never really helped me out in any other country, but okay)

I've been taking Polish lessons and although I'm still on a basic level with speaking, my listening and reading is way better, so I understand a lot. I'm just very quiet when someone asks me something.

Whenever I can I speak Polish -or at least I try/pretend to speak Polish- and usually that makes me feel proud. But not always. Lately I was doing my groceries after a 1,5 hour long Polish lesson, so I felt quite confident. I walked up to the cash desk to pay for my food, drinks and cat litter for the fluffy black hair ball that is called Mika. 

Everything went smoothly and I think the cashier thought I was cute with my not so perfect Polish. I gathered all my stuff and lifted the heavy cat litter into the shopping cart when the lady suddenly asked me: "Can I please have your cat?" 

A moment of silence went by and I was staring at her all puzzled: "My cat??!?!?? You want my cat?"

The word for cat in Polish is 'kot' and I was sure she just said that. I asked her to repeat herself and she said it again. She still wanted my cat! I explained to her that it's my cat and unfortunately she couldn't have it. The weirdest question ever, if you ask me. 

Now she was the silent one, but not for long: after a few confusing seconds she slowly said: "kod pocztowy", which just means postal code. With a red face I gave her my postal code in crappy Polish, apologised, said goodbye and walked out as fast as I could.

I still have a lot to learn, but at least my cat knows I'm loyal to her.

The Polish language is one big tongue twister

They occur in every language, the so-called tongue twisters: phrases with words and sounds in it that are very much alike, which causes a conflict between your brain and your speech and use of the tongue. In Holland we have a tongue twister about a pretty hairdresser:

De knappe kapper kapt knap, maar de knecht van de knappe kapper kapt knapper dan de knappe kapper zelf kapt.

It doesn't even has to be a full phrase, even some words cannot be pronounced properly when said too many times in a row. For me the word 'Toy Boat' is a mini-tongue twister, if I try to say it three times in a row I just can't. It will sound like this: 'Toy Boat, Toa Boyt, Toy Boyt.' Most of the tongue twisters are just weird phrases, which do not have a specific meaning, but are just hard to pronounce, like this one:

If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews? 

Since I started learning the Polish language I found out that learning a new language causes the same problems between brains and speech. I see a Polish word or phrase on my computerscreen, I want to pronounce it properly, but then it appears that my brains have a mind of their own. It's sending the wrong commands to my tongue, so I only say 'pllllaaahhh'. The letter combinations of SZ, CZ en RZ are particularly difficult for me and the letter Ł is a cause of master confusion too, since it's not an L at all, but it needs to be prunounced the way we Dutchies use the W. 

Here you can read some examples of Polish tongue twisters. I am not sure if I'll ever reach the point of pronouncing those lines in the correct way:

W Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie i Szczebrzeszyn z tego słynie.

Nie pieprz Pietrze wieprza pieprzem, bo przepieprzysz wieprza pieprzem.

For now I'm glad I can remember most of the words I have been learning. I am able to name 36 different animals in Polish. I can say the days of the week, most of the colors and some common phrases. At least, if I'm behind my laptop, alone in my room. I have no idea if I'll be able to have some sort of conversation when I'll be in Poland, which will be in two days.

The next few weeks I will update my blog regularly with the process of learning this weird and difficult language. I'm expecting it to be a really bumpy road, with lots of awkward and painful situations, with me insulting people instead of complimenting them etc. Luckily for me though, I have a high dose of self mockery and that's why I uploaded a video with me practising the Polish language. At the moment of typing I know those lines by heart, but it really took me a while. 

Check my Dutch blogs at www.gwenfm.nl